Toast at Keith's Wedding

Toast to the Parents of the Groom

There are three kinds of toasts – the corselet type which covers everything, the French knickers type which covers the essentials and the uplift toast which touches on the high points.

This toast is usually proposed by a long term friend of the family and I wondered why friends had been overlooked. Then I realised that, if you are lucky enough and you do the right things, your family become your best friends.

We are fortunate that Mum and Dad have obviously done the right things because, as a family, we are close. We don’t live in each other’s pockets – which must be a very cramped existence in more ways than one (and the moths do need room to move). But I feel that we are like spokes of the wheel, moving outwards, keeping our distance, living our own lives – but still attached to the hub for strength and support. And that support has always been there.

For the past 45 years, their lives have centred on the family. They’ve coped with more than the usual number of kids and catastrophes without too obvious signs of insanity. I’ve been looking closely. It has been said that one person in five is at least slightly crazy. If Mum and Dad are okay and they seem to be, that leaves three of us. I know I am crazy to be doing this and Keith has a rather glazed look about his eyes today so look around. There is at least one other amongst us.

Mum does mention the year we all got measles, mumps and chicken-pox (one disease after the other, one child after another) as the year she nearly went insane. Then there were the dreadful years when we each got a drivers licence and a car or, even worse, a motorbike. I think now that the worst and possible the best time of the year must be Christmas. We all went off singly and then, like Noah’s Ark, came back in twos, then in threes and fours. We are delighted to welcome Kerri into the family today as over the years my other sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law have been welcomed. They have all become important to Mum and Dad. And now the grandchildren are an increasing source of pride.

I have known Mum and Dad all my life. Because they have always been there, it is easy to forget that there was a life for them BC – Before Children. Dad, John Toomey O’Rourke was born in Gympie and lived on a farm, educated at the tiny Traveston School and then Nudgee College. Mum was born, Enid Therese Hardy, in Mackay where she lived for the first 21 years of her life. In the aftermath of the Depression, Dad was on the road looking for work. By co-incidence, he ended up in Mackay. Mum was working in Marsh and Webster’s, waiting to be rescued from a life of drudgery. They met and married and had thirteen children and, according to Dad, she never had to work again in her life. It really was fortunate that they did meet or this wedding would be a quiet affair – without the groom.

But they both worked, and worked hard, over the years to give us the best they could. They’ve taught us by example the value of a good education and the satisfaction of good honest work. We’ve been encouraged to take that extra step and be prepared for whatever is around the corner. But they have also shown us the value of recreation and family life. Many happy weekends were spent at my grandparents’ farm and the ritual Sunday drives usually ended at relatives’ places where we got to know the wider family well. I remember too our holidays at Beachmere and Noosa and Tewantin. What stands out in my mind is having a week or so away and then Mum and Dad going away for a few days together. The more cynical of you may say it was to recover from us all running wild on the beach.

But more, it reminds me of the Story of Ruth: ‘I will go where you go and dwell where you dwell.’ Mum and Dad have taken seriously their wedding vows to love, honour and cherish. In the ups and downs, the joys and disappointments of life, they have been important to each other and to us. We don’t say it often enough but we are proud to be their children. Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask you to rise and join me in a toast to the parents of the groom.

Ladies and Gentlemen…..to Mum and Dad, Enid and John.