Memories of Dad -Denis

 

Good morning and welcome to this mass in celebration of the life of John O’Rourke.  I am Denis O’Rourke, the oldest of the large family of John and Enid.

John Toomey O’Rourke was born at Gympie in 1916.  The Toomey name was his mother’s maiden name.  He grew up very happily on his parents’ dairy farm at Traveston 15 miles south of Gympie along with five brothers and three sisters.  He completed his secondary schooling at Nudgee College in 1931 with a Junior Certificate just as the Great Depression wrought havoc on the country.

Jobs were virtually non-existent and Dad always said he endured six years, on or near the bread line, with only sporadic work.  He met Mum in Mackay in 1938 and they married in October 1941 while he was in the Armed Services.  So began a wonderful relationship which lasted 66 years. 

Dad joined the Queensland Department of Agriculture and Stock as an Advisor in Horticulture in Nambour in 1947 but moved to the Caboolture office the next year.  He originally focused on banana production and later on pineapples and small crops.  I know he was very comfortable in this job mixing easily with the farming community and he remained a country boy at heart.

Dad was always a hard worker and on weekends he farmed in succession two blocks of bananas at Cobble Creek and Narangba and later a block of pineapples at Elimbah over a ten year period.  This quickly paid off the family home as Dad had a strong aversion to owing anyone money.  It also supplemented the budget as his family grew.  Dad never considered Bankcard a sensible option!

After living in Caboolture for some 12 years, Mum and Dad built a home at Turner Street Scarborough in 1960 so the family could be closer to secondary schooling.  Here they lived happily for over 40 years and in retirement enjoyed caravanning, the gem fields and a quite a number of holiday trips. At one stage you never knew where they were!  In 2003 they moved to the BallyCara Retirement Village also at Scarborough.

I have a wealth of happy memories of family life at Scarborough.  The home was centred on a large kitchen always warm and welcoming with a large combustion stove and a red laminex topped kitchen table.  The table seated eight in comfort but many more with a little effort. Here family members and visiting relatives enjoyed Mum and Dad’s company and the famous J T cups of tea – hot and strong and suitably sweet.  Everyone was welcome, everyone was equal and everyone was encouraged to have an opinion.  I think Dad was ever mindful of how tough life had been in his youth and he was very sensitive and non-judgemental to the problems encountered by his children.  You knew you would get help and support but especially, quiet, sensible advice.

He loved the company of his many grandchildren [and great grandchildren] and he would never hear a cross word against any of them.  Dad enjoyed their company and always wanted to know what they were up to and delighted in following their growth to adulthood.

Now Dad had a great sense of humour and loved a good yarn and he had an enormous collection of stories a few of which he set down in his book appropriately named “As I Recall” which he wrote in 1990. I will share one of my favourites.

 

After effectively hitching a ride with Queensland Rail for some 700 miles from Traveston to Cunnamulla with all of 5/- to his name, Dad got a job with a rabbit-fencing contractor 120 miles west of Cunnamulla.  The job came with some perks – accommodation, rations and hot and cold running water.

Now the free accommodation was a camp tent – freezing in Winter boiling in Summer.

The free rations were all the mutton you could eat but you did have to catch and slaughter your own beast.

For hot running water you walked up the artesian bore drain----for cooler water you walked down the bore drain! It was muddy, untreated, very mineralised and shared with numerous sheep, kangaroos and other assorted animal and birdlife.

 

I will leave you with three observations-

-   The O’Rourke family never went camping

-   The O’Rourke family never, but never, had mutton on the menu

And Dad’s comment on the current topic of recycled water would probably be:

 

     “Get over it, it probably won’t kill you.”

 

Thank you.

John's 90th Birthday

HAPPY 90^TH BIRTHDAY, JOHN O’ROURKE (by Monica)

In a family of talkers, it seems odd that the quietest, shyest one should get to talk at the most important functions. I fought hard for the honour. And this is an important weekend, as Dad celebrates his 90^th birthday.  I know that Dad is delighted to see so many of his family and friends gathered around.

I was fortunate to grow up in a family where family was always the focus and always talked about.  I have clear recollections of Dad talking about his parents and grandparents and his life as he grew up. The stories he told about My Grandfather (his father) related to community life. It tickled my fancy when I was a kid to hear about grandfather being asked for a quote to move postholes, when he had the only truck in the district. His answer was: so much a dozen and you load them. No wonder we are all appreciate quick wittedness. He talked about Granny (his mother) and her kindness and generosity. I certainly remember how open hearted she was to her grandkids - and how we repaid that when we visited. How many of you here were guilty of hoeing into the bread so that she’d have to make fried scones instead?

As I look around here today, I see family members of almost all his brothers and sisters. When he talked about Norah, Dad always said how unjust it was for her to have to leave school early and help look after the house. He was always determined that none of his girls would miss out on the opportunity to have a good job or career. Norah must have been very like her mother in temperament and Dad has talked about her looking after an orphaned koala.

When I think about Flo, I don’t think just of the successful chemist but the young fellow who was called Aunty Flo at Nudgee, when schools were the breeding grounds for nicknames. Dad, when he followed along, became Little Aunty.

Dad always had a soft spot for Maurie and believed the weeks he spent with Granny leading up to her death, gave a peace of mind, which balanced out his years of restlessness. I can’t say I really knew Maurie well but he returned to Traveston from time to time so Rod and Cherie knew him much better.

We had a lot to do with Ted and his family as we grew up but my favourite memory is one of Dad’s stories. The family were gathered with visitors one day when the young Ted rushed into the house yelling, I’ve swallowed an elephant.  I’ve swallowed an elephant.  They should never have put such small toys into Easter eggs!

My memory of Len is totally my own. I don’t know why we were at the farm at the same time as Len but I do remember when he gave me a small red chilli from a shrub in the house yard. I also remember how angry Dad was with him for that. I also know why my favourite flavour is, no not chilli, it’s ‘bland’.

Although I was relatively young when Frank died, I think of him as the young postman riding a bike uphill and down through Gympie after he left school. He had always been encouraged to do as much as he could despite the heart problems which he endured for his entire life.

Bet was also a favourite of Dad. Although she was much younger, she seemed to follow him around when he was a young adult. When he came home from work she would sometime stand behind him while he was sitting reading the paper and would brush or comb his hair. Once she spent ages, doing his hair and chatting. When he went out to dinner, he discovered that she had arranged his hair in rows of kiss curls. I do know that he would have had endless patience with her, as he always does with children.

Anyone who has read his reminiscences will know his story about Pat getting lost at Mrs Griffin’s. For me, stopping off at the Powells in Cooroy on the way to Traveston was always an important part of a trip, for quick a cuppa and a chat. This cuppa and chat took ages because I know Dad can talk and got the impression early that Pat was quite a talker too. Nothing I’ve seen since has contradicted that.

This was the heritage he has carried into his own family. I look back at early photos of him and Mum, and later ones too for that matter, and realise why we are such a good looking family. I’m not going to go through and talk about each of us. I’d be here for days – and besides everyone would want right of reply! I think it is quite amazing that all 13 of us are still alive – and so are Mum and Dad.

After the hard life of growing up on a dairy farm and being always broke, Dad really moved into adulthood with the depression. Many of the stories he tells come from this time when he was a young bloke, doing the blokey things with his mates – the fishing and outings, movies and cards.

He was then fortunate to get work surveying at Cunnamulla where he learned to be broke in a different way. He talked about learning to find his way home following the angle of the shadows – and also driving in circles at night while the moon moved from being directly behind him to right in front!

Eventually he ended up in Mackay where one of his more interesting jobs was shovelling sand in the river. Because of the fast flowing river, sand built up very quickly and caused problems for boats coming in. When the tide was low, Dad was one of the lucky fellows who stood in the water, stirring up the sand with a shovel so that it would drift away with the tide. It is a job like that which brings home the futility of life!

Dad met Mum at the Catholic Club in Mackay where they were both keen dancers. When I was at primary school, we always had a St Patrick’s day dance. I was always thrilled to dance with Dad as he was a wonderful dancer and so light on his feet.  However before that, he had danced his way into the heart of Enid Hardy who remains his beloved partner. Together they went on to have thirteen children, thirty-one grandchildren and, to date, thirteen great-grand children.

The attributes which marked his early life were repeated in his own family.  A hard worker, Dad paid his home off in a very few years from a meagre income, after-hours slaving over a pineapple or banana patch and a tribe of kids who were more hindrance than help. The house was always freshly painted and in wonderful condition. His lawn was his pride and joy. I was constantly amazed that the bowls club didn’t hold their competition in our back yard. Every other competition was held there- running, tennis practice, fisticuffs and climbing the mango tree. I’m sure the mango tree was one of the features which sold the house a couple of years ago. There were so many photos taken in the tree that it could almost be called the family tree!

Dad is probably the only person I know to dig a hole to bury dirt. He says that the area along the car runners was filled with concrete scraps and stones. However, he dug a deep hole in the back yard, took out some fresh dirt for the front yard and buried the dirty dirt –deep! He has also raised eyebrows by walking around the yard in the rain, with an umbrella, watering the lawn. He knew and we knew that he was watering in fertilizer which needed to be soaked.  People going by didn’t know that!

We were encouraged to do our best academically. I have never done a count but if his children and grandchildren lined up all their degrees and diplomas and certificates, it would be an impressive sight. Of course, some of us celebrated our freedom at tertiary studies by having the first year socialising rather than studying! But we are quick learners and the second year put us back on track – with very strong encouragement!!

Mum and Dad have an enviable record of marriage – 64 years and still going strong. We have tried to emulate that and although some of us were not so wise in our choice of spouse, we still have the model there and we are trying to pass those same values along to our own children.

Many of the images of Dad that come to mind are the small ones – making porridge in a huge saucepan over the wood stove in Winter, bread toasted in the coals at night as visitors sat around the kitchen table with tea and hot toast, walking around with a baby lying along his arm with the head firmly held down by the elbow. A couple of months ago I could have demonstrated this with Krista’s little Cory, the youngest great-grandchild.

The last few months have not been kind to Dad health wise and he is far less mobile than he would want to be. However, those who have visited with him recently know that he is still in good form, sharing his memories of different stages of his life.  His great sense of humour has never deserted him. Many times in the past few months he has told stories which have had him laughing so hard that the tears were running down his cheeks. If there is a funny side to something, he is sure to see it. I have been trying to learn the Italian language and told him one day that I had trouble rolling my r’s . I knew immediately, when the corners of his mouth trembled that he had a picture of a different kind of rolling r’s. 

Ninety years is a wonderful milestone and I am proud to stand here today and honour Dad as he celebrates this birthday. But a life is more than a number of years. A measure of life is the number of other lives that are touched and enriched. As I look around I know that there is not one person here today whose life has not been enhanced in some way by knowing John O’Rourke. Some of us owe him everything because we wouldn’t be here without him. Others, aunts and cousins, relatives and friends, have all been part of the tapestry of his life. Your presence here today is an acknowledgement of that.

90 years Dad! That is wonderful! And just remember as you celebrate today, that birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live. Happy Birthday, John O’Rourke.

Toast at Keith's Wedding

Toast to the Parents of the Groom

There are three kinds of toasts – the corselet type which covers everything, the French knickers type which covers the essentials and the uplift toast which touches on the high points.

This toast is usually proposed by a long term friend of the family and I wondered why friends had been overlooked. Then I realised that, if you are lucky enough and you do the right things, your family become your best friends.

We are fortunate that Mum and Dad have obviously done the right things because, as a family, we are close. We don’t live in each other’s pockets – which must be a very cramped existence in more ways than one (and the moths do need room to move). But I feel that we are like spokes of the wheel, moving outwards, keeping our distance, living our own lives – but still attached to the hub for strength and support. And that support has always been there.

For the past 45 years, their lives have centred on the family. They’ve coped with more than the usual number of kids and catastrophes without too obvious signs of insanity. I’ve been looking closely. It has been said that one person in five is at least slightly crazy. If Mum and Dad are okay and they seem to be, that leaves three of us. I know I am crazy to be doing this and Keith has a rather glazed look about his eyes today so look around. There is at least one other amongst us.

Mum does mention the year we all got measles, mumps and chicken-pox (one disease after the other, one child after another) as the year she nearly went insane. Then there were the dreadful years when we each got a drivers licence and a car or, even worse, a motorbike. I think now that the worst and possible the best time of the year must be Christmas. We all went off singly and then, like Noah’s Ark, came back in twos, then in threes and fours. We are delighted to welcome Kerri into the family today as over the years my other sisters-in-law and brothers-in-law have been welcomed. They have all become important to Mum and Dad. And now the grandchildren are an increasing source of pride.

I have known Mum and Dad all my life. Because they have always been there, it is easy to forget that there was a life for them BC – Before Children. Dad, John Toomey O’Rourke was born in Gympie and lived on a farm, educated at the tiny Traveston School and then Nudgee College. Mum was born, Enid Therese Hardy, in Mackay where she lived for the first 21 years of her life. In the aftermath of the Depression, Dad was on the road looking for work. By co-incidence, he ended up in Mackay. Mum was working in Marsh and Webster’s, waiting to be rescued from a life of drudgery. They met and married and had thirteen children and, according to Dad, she never had to work again in her life. It really was fortunate that they did meet or this wedding would be a quiet affair – without the groom.

But they both worked, and worked hard, over the years to give us the best they could. They’ve taught us by example the value of a good education and the satisfaction of good honest work. We’ve been encouraged to take that extra step and be prepared for whatever is around the corner. But they have also shown us the value of recreation and family life. Many happy weekends were spent at my grandparents’ farm and the ritual Sunday drives usually ended at relatives’ places where we got to know the wider family well. I remember too our holidays at Beachmere and Noosa and Tewantin. What stands out in my mind is having a week or so away and then Mum and Dad going away for a few days together. The more cynical of you may say it was to recover from us all running wild on the beach.

But more, it reminds me of the Story of Ruth: ‘I will go where you go and dwell where you dwell.’ Mum and Dad have taken seriously their wedding vows to love, honour and cherish. In the ups and downs, the joys and disappointments of life, they have been important to each other and to us. We don’t say it often enough but we are proud to be their children. Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask you to rise and join me in a toast to the parents of the groom.

Ladies and Gentlemen…..to Mum and Dad, Enid and John.

50th Anniversary - Jim Hardy

50^th Wedding Anniversary Jim Hardy

Enid and John were Bridesmaid and Best Man at my wedding over fifty years ago. Unfortunately my love, Eileen, passed on about six years ago.

I come from a family half the size of the O’Rourke family. I had five sisters and one brother. My brother died very young and my sister May died in her late twenties. The other four are all here tonight, Agnes, Monica, Enid and Claire, helping to celebrate this occasion. I think they take after our mother who lived to the ripe old age of 90. Our father died in his early fifties and I am the only male member of the Hardy clan to live beyond their fifties. So I am very glad to be here tonight.

My four sisters between them had twenty-four children of which Enid contributed more than half with 13. I must congratulate Enid and John on their large family, the way they have educated them. They all have good jobs and lovely families. Enid and John, you did a great job. Congratulations on your family and your long life together.

50th Wedding Anniversary - Tom Kelly

50^th Wedding Anniversary, Tom Kelly

Thank you for having Edna and myself at this Wedding Anniversary celebration. We have known Enid and John as a couple for a long time. Our friendship goes back well over fifty years. We have had the pleasure of sharing many family occasions. We saw all the kids grow up and were able to spend some time looking after some of the little ones.  In the earlier years we were able to have good times together with our own young family.

Our lives have often run on parallel lines. We first met in Mackay in our courting days. During the war, John joined the Air Force and for a time we were in Townsville together. Eventually we all ended up in Brisbane together.

I recall some of the problems Enid had with her young family.  One of the kids got a toothpaste cap caught in his throat.  A bit of a panic ensued then Enid gave him a hit on the back and a quick flip, and the cap flew out. Another time a couple of the boys were having an argument outside under the kitchen window. Enid tossed an empty tin at them and managed to catch one of them on the head. He ran up to his mother with blood streaming down his face. The ambulance arrived and when the blood was cleaned away, a small insignificant cut was all there was to see. Another time Enid got her arm caught in the rollers of the washing machine.  I remember that there was so much pressure on the roller that she couldn’t release it. I could go on and on but I think these few stories give an idea of the things that can happen in a household with a young family.

Enid and John must have done everything right in bringing up their children. They can be justly proud of their children and their accomplishments. They should also be very proud of themselves and their role in their children’s lives. If these children use their parents as an example and follow their ways, they will all do well in life.

I’ve been asked to tell a story from our courting days when we first met. Going back a long way, Edna and I and Enid and John sometimes went out together in my little car, a small Austin. We often drove along with Enid and John in the back and Edna in the front with me. Occasionally John and Enid would give each other a kiss. It didn’t seem right to me because I had the steering wheel you see and didn’t have the chance to give Edna a hug and a kiss. So one day I thought it would be a good idea to set up a little device and connect it to a switch on the dashboard so when we were driving alone, I could hit the button and give them a little shock. So every now and then, I’d give them a bit of a shock. It was all right, not too much. I got a bit of a laugh but they still got a kiss and cuddle.

The same thing happened with my brother and sister-in-law when they had a ride with me. The first time it happened my brother said, ’Bloody hell! I just got a shock.’ I replied that it couldn’t happen because there is no electricity in the back. He said, ‘Put your finger here’ and I did and of course nothing happened. Then he touched it and I hit the switch again. With him and with Enid and John, I had the whole thing down to a fine art and got a great deal of amusement from it.

Anyhow we had a good time then and many years of friendship since then. We are proud to have been part of their lives for such a long time. Edna and I congratulate them on fifty years together and wish them continued happiness.

50th anniversary - Clarrie MacDuff

50^th wedding anniversary Clarrie MacDuff

I welcome the opportunity to come up here and clear up a long-held perception. Jack and I were supposed to have done a dastardly deed and robbed the community by rigging the chocolate wheel. Don’t laugh. It was a very serious thing at the time. It happened like this at the convent school fete. Jack and I were deputised to run the chocolate wheel. There were only two major prizes and they were gentlemen’s dressing gowns. And who do you think won the two dressing gowns? Even to this day I think my wife, Mollie, wonders if the wheel was perfectly round or whether somehow things weren’t quite right. I would like to put all that suspicion to rest. It was on the up and up. We won those two dressing gowns fair and square.

Having cleared that up, I would like to congratulate John and Enid on having such a marvellous family. It must be wonderful to grow up in a family like that, with all the understanding and concessions that would be necessary to get along, even when you’d feel like throttling each other at times. You’ve come through it all very well and should be proud of yourselves. And I’d also like to congratulate the family on having such wonderful parents and all being here together to celebrate this occasion. Happy anniversary Jack and Enid.

50th Wedding Anniversary - Denis

50^th Wedding Anniversary

I’d like to welcome you all here tonight on this, the occasion of Mum and Dad’s 50^th Wedding Anniversary. I am honoured to speak on behalf of my brothers and sisters.

As many of you know, Dad grew up at Traveston, up Gympie way and was educated at the small school there and then went on to board at Nudge College. He left school, he often told us, at a very bad time for the economy. There was no money on the farm and very few jobs anywhere. I know he worked for a time in Cunnamulla and vowed he’d never again eat mutton after being out there. Through his brother Flo, he obtained work up in the Mackay area on cane surveys. He worked on the harbour for Hornibrook for quite some time. He also worked on farm surveys at Eungella. Any job in those days was a good job. He got work when and where he could.

A lot of people went for entertainment to the dances and things of that nature. I believe that sometime late in 1938 it was at a dance that he first met Mum and that was where the romance began to blossom. I think he was in the army at the time – the first regular job he had had for ten years. On October 21^st 1941, they were married in St Patrick’s church and I understand they walked to the reception at the family home, which was about 100 yards up the road.

Mum and Dad have always been a great partnership. As far back as I can remember, their love and their support for each other was the thing that stood out. It stood out then and it stands out today. This flowed on to all the kids. The home was always a happy home where hurts could be fixed up and ambitions could be polished up and problems solved. In all ways it was a very happy home.

I believe that most of us were fortunate to have a very good education and Mum and Dad worked very hard to do that. When you look back today, it is hard to imagine how they managed to do it. I don’t think things have got any cheaper today than they were then. Mum and Dad were a great partnership in all ways. I do recall that to round out the budget and no doubt to educate the family, that Dad had a number of pineapple and banana plantations at Cobble Creek, Narangba and Elimbah. I remember Mum rolling up her sleeves and whaling into it with the rest of us. She didn’t spare herself at all.

You don’t often get the opportunity to thank your parents for all they have done for you. Preparing this speech was a very reflective experience for me. I’m sure I speak for all my brothers and sisters when I say we think our parents are fantastic. We believe they did a tremendous job. They supported us all the way. We love them very much and appreciate them very much for it.

So today, Mum and Dad, as you celebrate your 50^th Wedding Anniversary, may you enjoy it to the full in the company of all your friends here. I hope you have very happy memories of the day and I hope you can recall them often and for a long time. I now propose the toast to Mum and Dad on the occasion of their 50^th Wedding Anniversary.